Does this seem familiar?
You walk into a room full of people. Your heart races and the anxiety enters. Head goes down. Hands nervously picking at your clothes. You think about what everyone is thinking about you right now. How fat and ugly you look.The first step into overcoming social anxiety is to realise that no one pays you as much attention as you think you are getting. You're insecure, I know. You think you're ugly and fat, yeah. But you have to realise that not everyone is judging you. Not that stranger on the bus that you sat next to, not that girl who passed you by in the school halls, not that cashier at the grocery store.
"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people." - Andre Dubus III
The second step is to learn to love yourself. The phrase put yourself in other people's shoes might apply in other situations but for you to love yourself means you have to accept yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. And for that to happen, you have to stop seeing yourself through other people's eyes and start looking at yourself from your own eyes.
Look in the mirror and study yourself. Learn what clothes looks good on you, what hairstyle complements your features the best and learn to appreciate yourself. Accepting yourself boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel less insecure when out in public.
The third step is to talk to everyone. You need to speak to people to build confidence. If you're too afraid to start a conversation, just start with smiling or a simple "hi" to someone. After a while you'll soon realise that it isn't all that terrifying as it seems in your head.
The fourth step is to educate yourself. If you're afraid of being clueless or not having a common topic with someone, maybe it's time to explore the internet. Knowing more will help you in conversations and open up new connections.
The last step is to learn not to care about what other people think. Distance yourself from people who points out your insecurities and make you feel bad about yourself. If you think your so-called friends are mocking you in any way, stop hanging out with them. If your boyfriend dumped you because you're not beautiful enough, be glad. It's no good to surround yourself with people like that. Do not let yourself get affected by what others say and never change yourself to fit in with others.
