Overcoming Shyness & Insecurity

Does this seem familiar? 

You walk into a room full of people. Your heart races and the anxiety enters. Head goes down. Hands nervously picking at your clothes. You think about what everyone is thinking about you right now. How fat and ugly you look.

The first step into overcoming social anxiety is to realise that no one pays you as much attention as you think you are getting. You're insecure, I know. You think you're ugly and fat, yeah. But you have to realise that not everyone is judging you. Not that stranger on the bus that you sat next to, not that girl who passed you by in the school halls, not that cashier at the grocery store.

"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people." - Andre Dubus III 

The second step is to learn to love yourself. The phrase put yourself in other people's shoes might apply in other situations but for you to love yourself means you have to accept yourself and be comfortable in your own skin. And for that to happen, you have to stop seeing yourself through other people's eyes and start looking at yourself from your own eyes.

Look in the mirror and study yourself. Learn what clothes looks good on you, what hairstyle complements your features the best and learn to appreciate yourself. Accepting yourself boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel less insecure when out in public.

The third step is to talk to everyone. You need to speak to people to build confidence. If you're too afraid to start a conversation, just start with smiling or a simple "hi" to someone. After a while you'll soon realise that it isn't all that terrifying as it seems in your head. 

The fourth step is to educate yourself. If you're afraid of being clueless or not having a common topic with someone, maybe it's time to explore the internet. Knowing more will help you in conversations and open up new connections. 

The last step is to learn not to care about what other people think. Distance yourself from people who points out your insecurities and make you feel bad about yourself. If you think your so-called friends are mocking you in any way, stop hanging out with them. If your boyfriend dumped you because you're not beautiful enough, be glad. It's no good to surround yourself with people like that. Do not let yourself get affected by what others say and never change yourself to fit in with others.

Diet Tips

DIET TIPS

Don't be overly-concerned over what the scale reads. After all, weight is portrayed differently among the different body types. Take the picture below as an example:

(All of these woman weigh the same)

"Don't start a diet that has an expiration date. Focus on a lifestyle that will last forever."

(How most diets go)

Change your eating habits gradually instead of pulling a 360 and trying to change it completely overnight. For example, you could start by removing all sugary drinks from your diet in the first week, then moving on to removing sugary snacks in the second, salty treats in the third and so on. Remember, go slow to let your body adjust to the changes so you won't feel like you're depriving yourself. 

Exercising is also a great way to get yourself in shape. Again, start slow and test your limits. Do not force yourself to run if you really hate running. Instead, find other sports/exercises that caters to your taste. E.g. swimming, badminton, basketball or even yoga. By enjoying the exercise and not making it seem like a chore, you'll find it a lot easier to get through.

Remember, the first step to changing yourself is to accept your current self.

Skincare Tips

TIPS ON FIGHTING ACNE

Identify the causes of your pimples

Could it be the stress after going through a breakup? An unhealthy diet? 

Defeating the pimples

If those nasty pimples are a result of stress, look for a way to destress. You could find a new hobby to get your mind off what's stressing you out. Maybe read a book, watch a tv series or take up a sport? Anything that will get you relaxed. 

Alternatively, if your pimples are born from an unhealthy diet, you could start eating healthier. Just be sure to slowly incorporate healthier choices into your diet instead of trying to change the way you eat completely in one go. Remember, it's a lifestyle change, not simply a diet. 

If your situation (e.g. school) makes it difficult for you to have a balanced diet, you could always get multi-vitamins to help you get the nutrients your body craves. A good brand of multi-vitamins would be Centrum, which you could find easily at Watsons or any other drug store. 

For quick fixes, you could always apply pimple cream or tea tree oil. 

from The Body Shop

Tea tree oil is traditionally used as an antiseptic and anti-fungal treatment. It works well to fight acne and isn't as harsh on the skin compared to pimple creams. 

(Sold at most local drugstores)

Personally, out of the many pimple creams being sold out there, I think Oxy works the best in getting rid of my pimples.

Basic skincare routine

1. Cleanse

2. Tone

3. Moisturise

Some products I recommend:

- Garnier - Pure Active Fruit Energy Scrub

- Cetaphil - Gentle Skin Cleanser

- Hada Labo - Hydrating Lotion

Fashion Tips

You know what I think is the easiest way to gain confidence and boost your self-esteem by a surprisingly significant amount? Clothes.

What we wear really affects our overall mood. By wearing something you feel you look good in, you'll find that you go about your day with more confidence than when wearing a bad outfit that leaves you feeling uncomfortable and insecure.

And no, I'm not asking you to go out and buy a few overpriced outfits from Zara or Gucci. What 17-year-old would have that sort of money to shop at those high-end brands? Well, unless you do have the money then by all means go ahead.

Don't dress for others and start dressing for yourself.

It is alright to follow fashion trends if you actually like what you're buying. However, don't force yourself to wear that mini cropped top that every other girl seem to be wearing if you find yourself feeling even less confident and insecure in it.

The first step in gaining confidence is to be comfortable in your own body.

Finding a perfect outfit can be quite tricky as the clothes that might highlight someone else's good traits might just do the opposite and accentuate your flaws. And that's why I'm here to give you some tips and tricks!

To find out what will look good on you, you'll have to know yourself better first.

Body Types

After identifying your body shape, you can click here to find out what type of clothing will look better on you.

Colours and Skin-tones

Read more about skin tones and colour coordination: sheknows

Alternatively, if you find it a hassle to identify your skin tone, you could just wear any the neutral/universal colours which will look good on anyone.

Read more about neutral/universal colours: thechicfashionista

Conceal, accentuate, elongate

Hate being short? Well, let me introduce you to your new best friends.

Perks of being short

- Heels, heels, heels. No heels are too tall for you so you'll still be shorter than your crush even when you're walking in 10 inch boots.

- Kids clothes! They're a lot cheaper and sometimes even more fashionable than what teenagers/adults wear. (Try shopping at the kids section at H&M)

- You're cute by default and might even get away with buying child price tickets with the right choice of clothing.

- Most guys like shorter girls, period.

Think you look fat? Wear BLACK!

Perks of wearing black

- Matches everything

- Slimming effect on body

- You can eat whatever you want without worrying about getting food stains

- Makes you look classy

- Suits most occasions

"To me, clothing is a form of self-expression. There are hints about who you are in what you wear."  - Marc Jacobs

Some affordable places you can shop at:

- Bugis

- Far east plaza

- H&M

- http://www.taobao.com/ (china site)

- Carousell (app)